BK came back from his bedroom and explained the bad news to me. You remember how his unit was on the list of possible activations? Well, apparently that was no longer just a possibility--it was a reality.
So on that Saturday morning, my brand-new "official" fiancee told me that he would be going to Iraq for 1-2 years. He told me that he would be in St. George for 2 weeks, and then Colorado for a month, and then who knows where for 1-2 years. And the worst part? He was leaving on Tuesday for the two-week St. George venture. As in three days from then.
I had already told him that if he got activated, I would not marry him beforehand. But now that the whole thing was official, it felt different somehow. I didn't even know what to say. I mean, seriously, what do you say?
I called my mom. I explained the situation to her, and she in a calm voice said, "Well, Amy. It sounds like you need to make a decision. It sounds like you can either get married next Saturday, the following Saturday, or not for awhile. And it sounds like you need to make a decision soon. Like today."
How do you even begin to make such a decision? BK and I immediately called everyone we knew whose advice we trusted. Parents, roommates, roommates' parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents. And you would be surprised to know that almost everyone said the same thing--just do it! And somehow, some way, by the end of the day, it was beginning to look like the actual logical thing to do. After getting everyone's input, we decided that we needed to pray about it, of course. We went back to BK's room (our ONLY violation of the honor code, I promise!!)--but I still had doubts. In the back of my mind, I just couldn't see how this was going to work out. I mean, even if it was the right thing--how in the world was I supposed to plan a wedding in 1-2 weeks? A wedding that I didn't even know how many people would be able to come to, including important people in my own family--siblings, grandparents, etc. What if I had to call my parents and tell them that I was getting married, and they were welcome to come if they could--but then, what if they didn't?
These doubts were beginning to cloud my mind as we knelt down to pray. Before anything further happened, the phone rang. It was my mom. She said:
"Okay, so I've talked to your Aunt, and just to let you know, everyone's on board with this. We think that you should get married in one week, as opposed to two--because then you'll have more time together. The whole family (siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles) is planning on flying in--so we need to know today, so we can buy plane tickets."
To which I replied, "Well, Mom, funny you should call--we were actually just about to pray about it. Can I call you back?"
To which she replied, "Oh. Yeah. I guess you probably should do that. But call me back so we can make plans!"
It was the answer I needed. Because trust me, if you've got The Colonel's Wife in your corner, she can make stuff happen. Especially if you have The Colonel's Wife AND The Colonel's Wife's sister. I didn't need to worry about a thing, really.
BK and I knelt down again and just looked at each other. How do you even begin to say one of the most important prayers of your life? And who would say it? I told BK I was not going to be personally responsible for this, and that he should pray.
As BK told our Father in Heaven of our plans and that we were wondering if we had His approval on the matter--we both felt instantly good about the situation. As we said, "Amen" at the end of the prayer, we found that each of us had tears of happiness streaming down our faces. BK said, "So. You wanna get married next Saturday?" I hugged him and agreed.
We walked out of the room to find all of his roommates sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting to see what the final decision was.
I said, "Roadtrip to St. George next weekend--Who's in?"
They were all so excited! They began to spread the news in BK's ward, recruiting people to come. We called everyone we knew to tell them and to invite them to our wedding. We had no idea who would show up and who wouldn't be able to (understandably).
If any of you are wondering how to plan a wedding in 6 days, it goes something like this:
Saturday
- Call everyone you know to invite them to your wedding.
- Call both of your bishops and stake presidents to make appointments for the next day for temple recommends.
- Give your parents each others' phone numbers and put the details of the actual wedding day in their hands.
- Go to church.
- Pray to make sure that it's okay that you're planning on not only getting married, but receiving your endowments on a week's notice. And asking Heavenly Father if that's okay, because you haven't even had time to read President Packer's "The Holy Temple" yet like you had planned.
- Receive the answer that you've really been preparing to go to the temple your whole life by just making good choices.
- Meet with your bishop and convince him that even though you are 18, you are definitely ready to go to the temple and be married.
- Go with your fiancee to his stake president's interview and be counseled for 3 hours (this is not a joke) about how money and sex can ruin marriage.
- Drive home uncomfortably, trying not to discuss the latter of the marriage "deal-breakers" too much... :)
- If you're Amy, you should go to your classes and beg for mercy. Mercy=taking a week off classes in college and needing some extensions on tests, papers, quizzes, etc.
- Even offer to take said quizzes, tests early before leaving town if need be.
- Receive yet another answer to prayers, as each and every professor tells you not to worry about it--to enjoy your wedding and to come talk to them about it when I get back. Only at BYU, folks.
- If you're BK, you should go to the Discontinuance office and drop all of your classes that you were halfway through--and get a full tuition refund for your parents.
- Go to the bank and add your soon-to-be-bride to your bank account
- Get a marriage license. Make sure your-bride-to-be has an extra $50 for this because you just bought a flippin engagement ring 3 days ago and you're flat broke.
- Find an apartment for your bride to move all your stuff to.
- Sign a lease on this apartment.
- Move all of BK's things to your dorm temporarily.
- Tell the girls on your floor that you're planning on getting married--and that this will work out well for them, because while you're dining plus card is accruing money while you're out of town, they can use it to have a pizza party.
- Drive up to Salt Lake and pick out a wedding ring for your husband to be.
- Have your husband to be call the jeweler that did your custom engagement ring to see if he can possibly have a matching band by Thursday.
- Watch your husband to be get in his car and drive down to St. George.
- Continue going to your classes, working out details on missing 6 class days of college, while worrying about how in the world you are going to pull your 3.11 GPA from Fall semester up to the needed 3.5 to keep your full tuition scholarship.
- Have 3 seconds to think of an answer when your mother-in-law calls with important questions like: "What flavor cake do you want?" "What color flowers?" "And oh yeah, don't worry about a dress. Tara has agreed to let you wear hers."
- (Click here to read the full miracle of the story that was Tara's wedding dress. Scroll down about half-way. It will be worth your time.)
- Attend a bridal shower your roommate Kathryn was nice enough to throw together at the last minute.
- Skip class because you realize you have GOT to dye your hair if you don't want to look like a scrub in your wedding pictures.
- Call your husband to be and ask how his first day of being a real soldier went.
- Call your uncle to see if he can pick up your wedding ring in Salt Lake City on his way to pick you up to go to St. George the next day.
- Pack your things for your trip south.
- Travel to Southern Utah with your uncle, aunt and two cousins.
- Get pulled over in Beaver because everyone knows it's a speed trap.
- Get to Mom and Dad's hotel room in St. George.
- Get ahead on homework.
- Greet family members as they arrive.
- Try to get some sleep.
- Wake up and try on "your" wedding dress that your mother-in-law just brought over.
- Cry when it fits perfectly.
- Go shopping with Mom and Dad for earrings, make-up, guestbook, cake cutting knife, etc.
- Get a manicure and a pedicure.
- Meet Mom, Dad, Don, Judy, and Grandparents at the temple to receive my endowments.
- Cry a little bit because the army was mean and would only give BK ONE day off, so he couldn't be there.
- Cry a little bit more when Dad received the confirmation he needed that this was the right thing--he ran into a mission companion he hadn't seen for probably 20 years who once a year meets with his brothers in the St. George temple--and it just happened to be the session you were in.
- Make important covenants and feel great about doing so.
- Eat at Taco Bell.
- Go to your mother-in-law's house for another bridal shower your soon to be sisters-in-law put together for you.
- Cry a little more when you run into BK for a minute on his way out to have "male-bonding-time" with his dad while we had our girl time--and he tells you that Colorado doesn't have room for them, and that his unit will actually be up at Camp Williams (In Lehi, Utah--20 minutes away from Provo) for a month before going to Colorado.
- Go home and take an extra-long bubble bath--wash your hair, shave your legs, and just enjoy a quiet moment contemplating the extraordinary day you are about to have.
- Try to get some sleep
