I cried before he called. It seemed so silly to me. We had talked on the phone a total of 11 times. We hadn't even been in communication for a month. I hadn't seen him in person since his mission. But there is no other way to describe it--the feelings were real. I just knew somehow. And I was worried that it was over before it ever even began. I felt like the odds were stacked against me--I was 17... a senior in high school...in Texas--whoever she was, she was obviously up there... with him. But BK had become a really good friend, and I needed to be able to fake it when he told me about his feelings for her, because I was just so embarrassed that I had let myself get hurt for the gazillionth time in my life.
At around midnight, my phone rang. I considered not even picking it up, but then I decided to just get it over with. I answered, and it was indeed BK. He seemed just really really happy. My tears began to flow, but I tried to mask my sniffling by saying I had a cold. I asked him to tell me about his email.
4 hours later I was completely floored.
The story BK relayed to me went something like this:
BK had been dating a girl named Hayley. They met in his Book of Mormon class, and had gone out on a few dates. BK really did like her, and had actually held her hand, and then she kissed him...blah blah blah.
At this point, I gritted my teeth and prepared for the worst.
But then the story took an interesting turn. BK, in his nervous, middle-of-the-night rambling, told me the following:
"But then you see, I was really confused. I mean Hayley is up here with me, and I really liked her a lot, but then there was you. I like you so much, but I was so confused because you weren't up here, and so I figured it would be okay to date Hayley and other girls until you got here. But when I went to the temple today, I got a completely different answer. I thought about Hayley and dating her, and it just felt completely wrong. Then all of the sudden, I thought of you. And I could see you dressed in white, and us in the temple together, and it just felt so right. And now I just feel crazy for saying all this. I mean, we haven't even hung out or anything, but it just seems crazy--I can see the potential in this relationship, and I like where it's going. I could see myself being with you forever. I really think I love you, Amy. And I just want you to know that I'm going to wait for you. I'm not going to date anybody this summer. Oh yeah--I should probably ask--do you even like me? Or am I just crazy?"
I was absolutely flabbergasted. Flabbergasted and speechless. I had no idea what to say. I had never been in this situation before. I was always the "friend" that had wished for it to be me so many times--and for once, it finally was. I-of course-told him that I did indeed like him. A lot. And I even admitted to him that I could definitely see the same potential in the relationship that he had alluded to.
At this point in the conversation we were both crying. We just knew that there was something special about this relationship--whatever it was.
The next day found me on Cloud 9. But I was also a little confused. How in the world was this going to all work out? I talked to my mom about it and expressed some concern about being young and having so much that I wanted to do in life--finish college, serve a mission, etc--and after listening my mom said, "Amy, what of those things can't you do with him?"
I decided that she was right, but I still wanted to take things really slow. I mean, the guy had practically told me he wanted to marry me after only talking to me 11 times. It did seem a little weird, but yet not. I expressed these concerns to BK, and he assured me we would take things as slow as I needed. He wasn't in any hurry. He knew what he wanted.
In his words:
"I hope that all is well with you. Keep being strong like you are, and I know that nothing can stop you from progressing and becoming the person you're trying to become. I sometimes wonder if I'm worthy of the person you are who you are trying to become. You certainly are making me want to become a better person and I thank you for that! Have a wonderful night, and have sweet dreams. Oh yeah and about what you said about that our situation is forcing us to be really really good friends, I agree 100% with you. I know that it is for our good and it will just make us stronger. I feel like I'm already getting so close to you despite you being a thousand miles away. I think about you all the time. You're very special to me and I feel bad that I haven't treated you better. I love you and I hope that you have an outstanding Sunday. Know that you can call me about anything and at anytime, OK. I am here for you 100% for anything. I certainly have patience for you and all and whatever you need to do in your life. Well, I guess we'll talk later. Adios. love you, BK"
And thus began a million emails and late-night phone conversations. It was so hard to explain to other people what was going on. We felt silly telling other people that we were in love, but as BK put it in a letter to me a couple weeks later:
"It's almost as if there is some kind of connection that we have with eachother, where we just understand one another so well even when we don't say it. It's like there is something that clicks between us, if you know what I mean... I guess that has to do with the chemistry. I've never met someone before that I seem to just connect with so well."
But soon we came to realize that we couldn't stand to wait 3 more months to test out what we were pretty sure was true love. Although to this day I'm still not sure how he afforded it--BK spent $300 and bought a plane ticket to come and see me in June for a whole week. I was soo excited!
And BK was really excited when, a couple of days later this happened:
I graduated high school finally! BK sent me a really great card and a book for my high school graduation. I think he was almost more excited about it than I was--now all he had to "wait" for was me to become "legal" and 18 in July... I went to my high school all-night grad party thing that night. I lasted 30 minutes before I decided that I would rather be home talking to BK. So I went home and called him, and we stayed up all night talking instead.The countdown to the visit had begun.
