Just me & the boys: November 2011

This morning I actually woke up early and went on a run before BK went to work. It was nice, and it gave me time to think.

And so I wanted to write down some of the things I was pondering about.

Ever since we moved to our new house, BK has been getting up with the children. He doesn't have work until 9am, and I've just felt so exhausted lately, and so he gets up with them and feeds them breakfast while I enjoy a few quiet extra moments to myself in bed. It's been a really nice arrangement actually. For me, anyway. But lately, I've been feeling a little more well-rested, and while he hasn't mentioned it, I know that BK really wanted to go to the gym in the mornings. So I had been thinking about this situation--and then a few days later, my lovely friend Melanie (who also had the same husband-getting-up-with-the-kids situation) told me that she had decided to get up with her kids so that Dean could start going to the gym. It sort of confirmed to me that what I had been thinking was what I needed to do, too. So I told BK last night that we could work something out so that he could go to the gym in the morning. This situation caused me to (again) be grateful for two things:

1) I'm married to a man who is helpful. He likes spending time with our boys and wants to make my life easier. While he's grateful of course to go to the gym instead of watching the children, I'm glad to be in a situation where I can choose to do nice things for him, not be forced or guilted into it. I have felt so tired from having a baby (over a year ago, I know) and then BK crazy clinical schedule right afterward--but I'm glad that he's given me some time to get some extra sleep so I could get back on my feet.

and

2) I'm so grateful for good friends. I have been blessed to meet many great and personally inspirational people already since moving here, and it has been a huge blessing to me. I'm grateful for friends that I can have uplifting conversations with--conversations that ultimately inspire me to be a better person--not just "griping" conversations. I'm grateful for friends that have reached out to me already, knowing of my struggles and heartaches. It has eased my burdens, and once again, let me know that my Father in Heaven is mindful of me and wants me to be happy.

I also pondered about Baby #3. I have no idea when he/SHE(??) will make his/HER appearance into our family, and while I hope it is sooner rather than later, I'm not as stressed about it as I thought I would be. Sure, I've been frustrated and anxious about it, but on my run this morning, I just felt peace about it.

I'm grateful for past months (years) of dealing with this lack of control I have over my body in this area. Because I can tell I'm growing. The past few months I have been feeling strongly that there is another child waiting to join our family. In half-awake moments early in the morning, when (somehow) both of my children have weaseled their ways into our beds, I find myself asking myself, "Where's the other one?" And then I wake up fully, feeling confused as to why I would feel that way. I remember feeling very similar a few months before we got pregnant with Spencer, and I was worried that it would never happen because of our struggles getting Landon to finally make an appearance in our family. But lo and behold, the Lord had a plan, and magically, Spencer appeared out of nowhere. I'm grateful for that experience because it helped me to recognize that feeling this time around. While I don't have all of the answers (and while it may need more medical intervention than last time.... who knows.), I'm not worried about it. I know that when we are doing all that we can, that the Lord can bless us with His plan in our lives. In His timing. I've already seen it happen twice, I know it will happen again. And I don't need to spend the time in between my timing and His being worried and sad. I just need to be hopeful. And patient. The Lord has ALWAYS kept His promises to me about the timing of children. I wish that I wouldn't have wasted so much time doubting that in years past.

When we first wanted to start a family, I felt very strongly that I should graduate college first. But I ignored that and spent the next 3 years being a complete basketcase about it. And of course, a couple of weeks after I received my diploma, I also was blessed with a positive pregnancy test. (The story was, of course, a bit more complicated than that, but the point remains.)

I also came home and listened to a conference talk (after I locked my children outside in the backyard) and I got an answer which inspired an attitude adjustment in another area of my life.
I just love days where I feel inspired. :)

Sometimes I surprise myself at how much I can get done in a day with two kids.

Today included a trip to Lowe's and painting galore.

Here is what our dining room looked like before we moved in.

My parents were generous enough to gift us their dining room furniture purchased in 1996.

I love this furniture because it reminds me of growing up. And whatdyaknow even my missionary husband ate a dinner or two at this very table on his mission.

But it was still a little out-dated. And luckily my mother isn't too nostalgic and encouraged me to refinish it.