But on the way home, we stopped by to see Melanie, Roman, and Carmella and ended up going to the park with them. Melanie let me borrow a couple of pairs of shoes for the boys, and then we were off.
The weather was nice. Melanie and I had plenty to chat about, as usual. The boys were playing somewhat nicely. Then Landon and Roman ran off to go play in the grass in front of the Parks and Rec building by the park. Melanie and I continued to chat, and then we noticed the boys were standing in the field looking rather guilty.
We walked over to investigate, and found them stuck ankle-deep in the middle of a huge pit of mud. Melanie and I stood there, shocked by the mess and trying to think of what our next move would be. Spencer of course stood by the mudpit, also threatening to go in. A nice older hispanic lady walked out of the building and told us we should get our camera and take a picture because they "looked SO CUTE" stuck in the mudpit. Then a younger guy with workboots on came out, and offered to unstick our children. In that process both boys fell over, further coating themselves with mud. Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to cry. It would've been completely comical had it been someone's kids and someone else's mess for sure.
The man finished unsticking our children, and I hauled both of mine into the building's just-cleaned bathroom. I instructed Landon to sit in the sink and wash himself off, while I used the other sink to try to salvage the shoes Landon had borrowed, while Spencer ran around probably touching every toliet in the bathroom.
Several office ladies walked in, and instead of rolling their eyes at the mess, smiled and told me how cute my boys are. They laughed and told me again how cute the boys looked all guilty and stuck in the mudpit. I laughed nervously, and continued scrubbing and shoes and the bathroom counter and my boys. Eventually all items were clean enough for the car, and we walked to it.
I was mad at Landon--for making such a mess--mostly because I knew that even though I had tried to clean up that bathroom, they were probably going to have to mop it again. But in my heart I knew I shouldn't raise my voice about it. The mud will clean off, Amy. It's not permanent.
I calmly told Landon in the car ride home that playing in the mud at the park was not his greatest idea. I told him about getting mud all over Rome's shoes. I told him about the poor guy who had to wade out in the mud to get them. I told him about the poor cleaning person who would have to go in and redo that entire bathroom she just cleaned. I told him about how we had to leave the park because of that, and that next time there was mud, he should stay out of it. He seemed to understand, and I was left wondering, Do I punish him for this? Have I even ever talked to him about mud? I can't remember?
But in my heart, I felt Just let it be, Amy. He understands.
But really?? How do I know he understands?? Isn't this my job?? To teach him to stay out of mud?? Shouldn't I make him feel sorry about it?
We came home, and Landon stripped off his filthy clothes. I made them lunch, and as I set down his plate of food, he said, "Hey Mom. I'm really sorry about getting in the mud."
And I said, "It's okay. It'll wash off. But let's not play in mud from now on, okay?"
"Okay, Mom. I won't."
I know without a doubt this won't be the last time my child gets stuck, ankle-deep in mud. But I'm also grateful to know that he is starting to internalize the things I say. He obviously thought about the things I said, and, on his own, decided he needed to apologize. This means more to me than any apology I've ever forced out of him.
There are certain things I feel that Landon needs to comply and give me a forced apology, of course--because he is three and is still learning. But I was grateful for this experience because mud really isn't that big of a deal, and it let him have an opportunity to do a real apology, and for me to realize he can do it.
It's nice when you have days when they "get" it, ya know?? :)
