A Change! A Change!

Remember how we have a family theme?

Well, at church last week, they announced that as a women's group we could participate in a month long study of the scriptures.  And just in case we couldn't think of anything to read about, they included a four week study guide about charity and service!

And I thought--this fits perfectly with the theme!!  I love themes!!!

Anyway, they encouraged us to write down thoughts and impressions, and I debated about whether or not to include mine here, but I decided that I would.

I love blogging.  I love connecting with other women, moms, wives, whathaveyou.  But it's not the main reason why I write.  I print off my blog every year in hopes that someday, when my children discover that I'm actually a real person with real feelings (Wait. Does that ever happen?) that they might want to get to know me better.  It's where I record not only the happenings of our lives, but with it, my personality.

I worried about the people who read my blog who might not care about my religious musings.  And then I laughed at myself and thought, hello, Amy.  What better thing to leave for your posterity than religious musings!

So anyway, read if you would like.  If not, maybe I'll have something more entertaining for you another time.

In related news, I've been going back and forth for awhile now about turning my comments off.  While I have actually never been offended (at least seriously offended anyway) by my comments, I think by turning them off, I can ignore the "audience" and just write what I want to write.  (I'm of course always available by emailing if you have something you're dying to share! amylynne09 at gmail)  Every once in awhile, I think I will turn them back on again, but for the most part, they will be off.

And right now for the next little while I want to write about Service and Charity.  And anything else exciting that happens.

Charity Study, Day 1

If you want to follow along, here's the article I'm talking about!
The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword, by Marvin Ashton

Wow.

This was an amazing article.

Here are some of the quotes that really, really stood out to me personally. (Along with my comments in blue!)

Some think the only way to get even, to get attention or advantage, or to win is to bash people. This kind of behavior is never appropriate. Ouch. Never?? Something to work on...


We need to get back to basic principles of recognizing the good and the praiseworthy within the family.


“No man can humiliate or disturb me. I won’t let him.” I think this might be the ultimate form of self-control.


We are reminded that Jesus Christ, the only perfect person to ever walk the earth, taught us through quiet example to say nothing or to be silent in stressful times in our lives rather than to spend time and energy bashing for whatever purpose.


Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. I think especially that last sentence is SO TRUE.  I cannot say that I am 100 percent charitable all the time, but in the areas that I feel like I am truly charitable and understanding towards others, I KNOW I will never be the same again. 

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other. Looks like President Monson must've read this talk before giving his own, huh?  So many good points here.  I could underline the whole thing. Patience is an important part of charity, FOR SURE.  And "resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped"--This really stood out to me as something I need to work on.

None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we’re trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other? I COMPLETELY agree.  Although I'm not anywhere close to to this--it truly is how I want others to treat me. I need to work on this.

“The best and most clear indicator that we are progressing spiritually and coming unto Christ is the way we treat other people.” WOW.  This is SO TRUE!!  Yikes!!!

Be one who nurtures and who builds. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them. In my heart, I know that this is one of my goals, but I need to be a little better at actually doing this. 

If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. Isn't this SO TRUE?!  I'm tearing up just thinking of times when I have misjudged someone and then found out what they were REALLY going through.  Everyone is carrying a burden, and most of the time, it's not something that's appropriate to share with everyone.  I think this is why Heavenly Father treats us with love, patience, tolerance, and care--because He can see our hearts and intentions.

I feel like I could study this talk five more times and still not have everything that I want to improve on! Such a great reminder!!

Dear First-Time-Mom Me, Please Take Note. Love, Me.

Me and Landon: April 2009

With child number one, you become a mother.  It's an incredible experience.  One day you are not a mother, and then the next day you are.  You can never ever go back for all of eternity.  It's amazing.  I often wondered what would be special about child number two.

And I think I've figured it out.

With child number two, you become a mother with experience and confidence.  One day you are a first time-mom struggling through each new stage, and then the next day you're "re-do"ing the entire experience that you already know a few things about.  It's awesome!

I wouldn't trade my experience with Landon for anything in the world.  He was (and continues to be) exactly what I needed at the time.  I couldn't have asked for a better transition into the world of motherhood. But today I imagined that I could peek back on myself a couple years ago and give me some advice.  

And this is what I would tell myself.

Trust your instincts! Everything doesn't need to be exactly right.  Spend less time measuring out baby food to the exact ounce, and more time just enjoying your child.  

Spend less time worrying about what everyone else thinks and says about your mothering.  Have they ever parented your child before?  No.  They haven't. It's always a good idea to be respectful of other's parenting advice, but at the end of the day, trust what you think is right.  It will save you a lot of time in trying to please everyone.  I can't stress this one enough.  

Spend less time comparing your situation to others.  It's probably a good idea not to be too judgmental of your friends with multiple children.  It turns out that it's not that mothers become lazy when they have more children.  It's that they figure out what's really important to them, and plus, they just have more to do.  They don't have time to worry about everything little minuscule detail of life.  And that's a good thing.

Don't worry about Landon surviving while you're pregnant with number 2.  It turns out he does survive, and isn't scarred for life because of it.  Go figure, right?! Turns out the only lasting side effect of having him watch TV for 6 months straight is that you will still feel like puking every time you hear the theme song to PBS shows, even after you have Spencer.  And don't be afraid to pick up the phone to ask people to help you with Landon while you're pregnant.  It doesn't make you a bad mother, it turns out.

Let BK help you with Landon.  You will need to get used to him not doing things the exact same way that you do.  Because when you have two, you will actually need his help--in whatever form he offers it.  It turns out he can bathe a child without drowning him.  Trust me.

You're capable of a lot more than you think you are.  Give yourself a break.

But in the same breath, here's some thing you're definitely on the right track about.

Good for you for not turning into a social recluse just because you have children.  You can still go to friends' houses.  You can still go on trips.  It's a little more complicated, but it's worth it.

Good for you for taking advantage of the time when you only had one.  Sure you didn't get much cleaning done because you were "so busy" but when you look back on it, you will never regret that time you had with Landon to just lay around all day and stare at each other.  It's not like that with your second child.  It's a little more hectic.  Sure, I spend a lot more time cleaning and organizing now, but that's because I need a bit more sanity with two children than I did with one.  I need the organization now.  I didn't then. 

Good for you for starting family prayer and scripture study and Family Home Evening long before you thought he could understand.  Because it turns out he could understand.  And he was listening. These are the things that will make you feel like a good parent.  (At least until they're teenagers and end up not applying any of the principles you're teaching them now... oh well.) 

Anyway, keep up the good work.

Talk to ya next time when I 1)get kid number 3 and 2)get life figured out with three kids. 

Love,

Me.

We got a printer/scanner, Part II

We got a printer/scanner, Part I

You know what this means!!


Time for an onslaught of wedding pictures from 2003!!

And now my internet is being dumb.

More to come tomorrow!

Changes 'round these parts

So I decided a couple months ago that I needed a new "program" for housecleaning.  Because the program I had just wasn't working.  I would get on cleaning kicks, clean my entire house, and then be wiped out and unmotivated the rest of the week.


And guess what?
There's an app for that.
Of course there is.

I bought Motivated Moms for ten bucks on the ipod.  And it's so awesome!  It gives me a checklist of things to do each day.  It takes me maybe half an hour to complete the list every morning.  And wouldn't ya know, my house is pretty clean!

Also, I've recently decided to quit biting my nails.
I've "decided" this several times in my life, but, you guys, I'm serious this time.

Because I'm really tired of every time I point out one of BK's annoying habits (shaking his leg, biting his cuticles, etc.) he says, "Well YOU bite your nails..."  See, when I quit biting my nails, then I can accuse him of being annoying whenever I want.  That is my motivating factor.

Actually, I've just decided it would be something fun to do every couple of days--to paint them a new color.  So I bought several cheap nail polishes today at Walmart!  Right now they're kind of a greyish blue.

My friend Linzi had an enormous basket of nail polishes at her house growing up.  Whenever I would sleep over at her house, I would always take advantage of her ginormous collection and paint my nails in weird color combinations.

Oh, to be 13 again... Actually, no thanks.
But I will at least start painting my nails.

We're still alive. Just wanted you all to know.

We've just been preoccupied with some things--which I'm sure I'll share with you soon.  Just waiting for a few things to finalize!

In the meantime:

• Landon likes to come up with reasons I should give him medicine.  On a daily basis.  Today's reason: "Mom. I've got a serious oww-y.  It's serious."  Other's have included: "I'm grumpy.  I need medicine." Or "I'm sad. I need medicine." Or "The sugar-bugs are getting me SO WELL.  I need medicine." [We get Landon to brush his teeth regularly by mentioning "sugarbugs" eating holes in his teeth.  Dramatic? Yes. But it's going to save us loads in dental bills. So there.] Better living through chemistry?  Not quite, Landon.  No blood, no foul.
• Today Spencer slammed his fingers in a drawer.  He started crying when he couldn't get his fingers out, and Landon jumped up, ran over to the dresser, quickly opened the drawer, and then kissed Spencer's fingers.  Then he said, "Sorry, Spence.  You okay?"  Spence was okay, for the record.  I said, "Landon! You are such a nice brother!  You helped Spence!"  And then Landon kissed me on the cheek and said, "Thanks, Mom."  It's times like that I really really really love being a mom, ya know?
• Let's cheer the Cougs onto victory tonight against Wofford.  I've never even heard of Wofford.  Have you?  Anyway--LETS GO COUGARS, LETS GO!

Bayou Trip

We decided to surprise BK's parents with a visit.
They're on a mission down in Baton Rouge.

Good times followed the next day when we went to Jean Lafitte National Park in New Orleans.

Overall I think we saw up close and personal at least 6 alligators, 4 snakes, 2 lizards, a turtle, a nutria, a swamp rabbit, birds, dragonflies, minnows, and a fish that jumped 2 feet out of the water--all in the wild!  It was awesome!

May yesterday go down in history as...

THE LAST WIC APPOINTMENT I WILL EVER HAVE.

Hallelujah.


I have actually been very grateful for this extra help while BK's been in school--especially the baby food.  It was also a humbling experience.  During my many appointments, I witnessed people who were in true poverty.  It pained my heart to see those little children who were pretty much born not having a chance.  It was also humbling to be treated rather poorly by judgmental WIC employees, who perhaps misjudged me as a white girl trying to use the system.  While my family has been blessed with a lot in previous years of our togetherness, it was not our state the past couple of years.  While I might have an SUV and an awesome diaper bag and an amazing stroller now, they were all purchased before we had children or were gifted by generous friends and relatives.  I tried to be polite, even when I could tell I was being misjudged, since I was on the receiving end of quite a bit of free food.  But it did make me aware that we should never think we know someone else's situation just by their outward appearance.

I experienced this in another way through WIC as well.   While waiting in the waiting room, my children would usually completely lose their minds.  I was so grateful for the other mothers there who, although unable to speak English, would proactively rock my crying newborn in his infant carrier, while I ran down the hall to retrieve his runaway toddler-brother.  While perhaps, I had misjudged these mothers, based on their outward appearance, they were filled with a helpful compassion that I could only hope to have.

All that aside, I'm just grateful that in a couple of months we will be able to fully pay for our own groceries and start paying back to a tax system who helped us out with grants and free food.  Thanks, taxpayers of America! :)

Pre-anniversary Thoughts

BK on our 4th wedding anniversary--2007

I decided the other evening to forgive BK for forgetting our engagement-anniversary.

After all, it wasn't exactly his fault that Valentine's Day, our engagement-anniversary, and our actual anniversary are all within three weeks of each other.

And to think, our original plan was to get married on my 19th birthday in July...  I'm so glad it worked out that I didn't get my birthday/anniversary merged into one holiday for the rest of eternity...

I'm a firm believer in having as many days a year to celebrate myself.  There's no need to merge days if you don't have to.

Anywho, so I decided to forgive him.

We don't have any major plans for our actual anniversary on Tuesday. (8 years!!)

Maybe I'll weasel one of my friends into watching my children for an hour or so and take the man out to dinner.
Maybe I'll just make a nice dinner.
Who knows.

I was looking through some pictures of the two of us from long ago.  I had a few thoughts while reminiscing:

1)  MAN, we were YOUNG! And we were.  I was 18, and BK had just turned 22.  And I remember thinking how old and mature he was. At 22. HAH!

2) BK is a really good-looking guy.  Especially when he first got home from Iraq.  That man had a lovely (farmer's) tan from working outside in 120 degree whether.  Homeboy also had nothing to do overseas but work out at the gym every single day (besides PROTECTING AMERICA of course...).  He's still good-looking.  He's just mad at the world because he's lost weight during school.  Poor, poor BK.

3) I have had a lot of different haircuts.  Short, long, and everything in between.  BK doesn't really notice and/or care about what my hair looks like.  I think.  I'll have to ask him.

4) We've had a lot of really, really great times together.  I've gotten to do everything I've wanted the past eight years: finish school, travel, have babies. I'm a lucky girl.

Random philosophical thinking on a Wednesday

I was thinking today how it's really important to never give up on a person.  But then I was thinking, "Well, what if you know that the person will never change?  Should you just not waste your time?"

But then the thought came to me: Hope is an essential part of charity.  Even if we "know" someone will "never" change, we should always have a hope that they will.  It's never a waste of time.


I thought about a couple of relationships in my life that have heavily relied on my having hope in the person.  And I thought, "You know, thought, you're right.  Because even though those people have really not completely changed in the ways that I think would make them happy, it has made me a better person to learn to serve with 'no thought of reward' (the reward here being a change in behavior)."

That's what charity is, essentially.  Serving with no thought of reward.

Our Heavenly Father always always loves us.  No matter what we do.  And it has been my experience that He always has hope for us, too.  That's why He forgives us.  Time and time and time again for the exact. same. things.

I also thought about a couple of relationships where I have had true hope that the situation would become better, and then it did.  How rewarding it is to see people I love do complete 180 degree turn-arounds.  I count those experiences among the best of my short life so far.

My lovely husband BK is amazing at having hope for people.  I have never heard him say a mean thing about anyone.  And wouldn't you know, everyone likes him.  And he truly likes almost every person he's ever met.  It's just part of his personality.


I hope someday that it's part of mine.

Smiles all around

I just realized I never actually took pictures of my children during the entire month of February.
Where did February go anyway?
Oh yeah.  It was basically one never-ending ice storm.  That's where.

I suppose we were also rather pre-occupied with BK's job situation and our house situation.  It's amazing how fast time flies when you have big, important decisions to make.

So far it seems like everything is just clicking into place for us.  So much so, that I'm starting to worry that we're probably due for some bump in the road or something.

For some reason the past two days, I keep eating cookies.  People keep bringing us girl scout cookies, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and on and on and so forth.  And so I keep eating them.  Cookies are really, really good.  But I can tell it's probably not the most nutritious breakfast or lunch.  Perhaps this explains my headache?  Hmm.  Perhaps this explains this disjointed and confusing blog post?  Probably.

Before this jumbled thoughts post goes on any longer, I'll stop.
Just enjoy the pictures of my sweet little boys above.
I'm going to go eat a cookie.


:)