So it's been a year...

So I've been busy on Instagram, but lately I've been feeling a need to start writing again, too.  So go to my instagram if you're interested in my pictures.  Come here occasionally, if you want a longer story.  And my, oh my, the last year has been a long story.

Let's just start at the beginning.

I found out the day before my thirtieth birthday that I was pregnant with our fourth child.  Owen had just turned one the week before, and this was a completely unexpected happy surprise to find out he would have a little somebody just 20 months his junior.  I immediately became pregnant-sick, and life changed a bit.

Somewhere during that time, we started throwing around the idea of moving to Las Vegas.  It rattled around in our heads here and there, and finally stuck with an actual job offer in November.  I encouraged BK to go for it.  I just felt like it was the right thing for him and for us.  He accepted the job at the beginning of December.  And thus began an intense several month process of mile-long to-do lists and miracles and everything else that has to happen to get a family of almost-six across the country.

We hired a property management company and rented out our house--our very first house!--within two weeks of it being posted.  This posed a "problem" as I was very, very pregnant with nowhere to live, and a husband about to move to Nevada without me.  We sent all of our stuff with him, and we moved into an empty house belonging to someone who had moved out of the ward but hadn't been able to sell their house yet.  We lived out of suitcases and slept on borrowed mattresses.  We had a small, very small, fridge, and just a few dishes.  At the time it was fine, but now every time I look back on that time, I feel sick.  Somehow I was protected from getting down in the dumps about it while I was in it, but again, looking back, I'm really not sure how I survived on my own.  But we did.  And it was not alone.  I wanted to share a copy of an email I sent to our Bishop as we were on the road to Nevada.  (I'll get to the birth story in a minute.)

"Bishop Eyre,
Brady flew back in last night and we are currently on the road headed to Las Vegas! So we survived! However I absolutely could not have survived had it not been for the dozens of favors I have received from those in the Waco 2nd ward. I wanted you to know that between the ward council members and my home and visiting teachers, I was taken care of and truly humbled by everyone's kindness. The olsens invited me and my kids over twice for dinner. Jackie is one of my visiting teachers and she also helped watch my kids while I had dr appts and let me do laundry at her house. The Sanford's had us over for dinner also. Lilian also had me over for lunch twice while I did laundry. She also brought me a meal after I had the baby. President Lindner and Sister Farnsworth texted me often to check on me. One time when I was extremely sick and unable to make it to church, Justin noticed within ten mins that I hadn't showed up and texted me to ask if I was okay. Unbeknownst to him, a moment before receiving his text, I was in tears on my knees pleading for strength because I was so sick and In charge of very rambunctious boys. I know he was prompted by the Spirit to text me right at that moment because it was the Lords way of letting me know that He hadn't forgotten about me. Olivia Lindner brought me cookies and another time ran to the grocery store for me. Aersta acerson also offered and went to the grocery store for me. Matt Shane who is my home teacher helped me with some things that came up with the hubbards house and needed fixed or things that were too heavy for me to lift. He also drove out to Vegas with Brady and helped unload our stuff. We had at least 8 guys show up to help load our uhaul truck. The Shane's also had us over for dinner and Jessica checked in with me frequently and watched my kids for me when I needed it. They gave my kids rides to and from church also. Jeanette Vance brought me meals and also packed a cute box of road trip goodies for our family before we left. Sis hoffmann brought me a meal after I had the baby. Malia white let my kids sit with her family at church while I was in the hall with Owen. Laurel baker is a saint. The Bakers provided me beds, sheets, and other furniture at the Hubbards house (the hubbards by the way let us stay at their house for six weeks without us paying them anything except utilities even though we offered repeatedly). Laurel let me borrow clothes, she had me over for lunch while I did laundry, she babysat my kids COUNTLESS times during the past two months, she brought me dinner, she brought me ice cream and watched a movie with me, she let my kids borrow toys, and this list could go on and on. She is one of the most Christlike people that I know and you should rotate as many people as possible through primary while she is in there so they can learn from her and her amazing example. Sarah Echevarria is my other visiting teacher and I could not have survived without her either. She (and Lilian Sanford and malia white) came and packed up my kitchen for me. She came over another time and cleaned my fridge. She watched my kids. She let us bring over laundry late at night the night we got home from the hospital when my one year old threw up all over his bed. She and Jose brought us boxes when we were packing. They used their truck to help me with at least three different favors. She and Lilian came over and helped me bag up garbage at our house and hauled it all to the curb for me. Many of these people worked together to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm sure I'm forgetting other favors, but I just wanted to illustrate the LENGTHY list of good works that have happened to us the past two months. I have never felt so useless and humbled in my life--and words cannot express how touched I am by the outpouring of love and concern by these and others in the ward. I only wish I had been around a little bit longer to be able to somehow help to repay these sorts of things back. Our family has been truly blessed by our time in Waco. I will miss you all dearly!
Amy"

I was truly carried during my time of distress.  I've been praying for opportunities to show kindness in these sorts of ways for others.  I've also been sad to leave this long list of wonderful people.  It's overwhelming to start over sometimes, but good in a way, too.

Now backing up a few weeks--

I started having pre-labor pains a week or so before BK flew in.  He was getting in on Thursday, March 5.  I was scheduled for an induction on Friday, March 6 at 6am.  Contractions came and went frequently.  On Thursday, while BK was en route, I lost my mucus plug (EW) and immediately started praying that the labor would stop and wait until BK made it that night.  The contractions stopped.  We got back from getting BK that night at 10:30pm.  My contractions started again at midnight.   And this time they didn't stop.

By the time we got to the hospital around 5:45am, I was having contractions 3-5 mins apart.  We got checked in.  BK then left to go back to the house to let Laurel go home to get her boys ready for school.  He dropped Landon off at school and dropped the other two off at Laurel's house.  

At 8am, I sent the following text to my mom and sister.  (Sara was in Paris and so she couldn't get my messages!)

"The doctor just came.  Everything looks good.  I'm at a 3, almost 4 and about 75% effaced.  He broke my water, and my epidural is on order and should be here soon.... I'm on pitocin.  A small dose.  Until they get the epidural here.  At which point they will crank it up.  The fluid was clear which means the baby is fine."

45 mins later the CRNA was supposed to show up at "any minute" and I was in quite a bit of pain.  It took awhile to get placed.

At 9:39am: "The epidural is in.  And I'm at a 4.  And feeling fantastic!"

Unfortunately that didn't last long.  About half an hour later I was in the most pain I've ever been in my whole life.  The epidural wasn't working the way it was supposed to, and I was terrified thinking I was only at a 4 and would have to endure that for hours.  They tried fixing it, it didn't work.  The nurse was about to leave again, and then decided not to wait for the doctor to check me because my face looked different, like maybe it was time to push.  And I'm glad she did.  I had progressed from a 4 to a 10 in about 45 minutes.  So the pain wasn't for nothing--he was apparently just ready to get out.  

At 11am the doctor arrived, and got things ready to go.  15 mins and three pushes later, Foster James Powell joined our family at 8 lbs 3 oz and 19 in long.  He was in perfect health.  We enjoyed our time together at the hospital.  Heading home from the hospital we couldn't find a pharmacy open that had my pain meds, which was just the beginning of one nightmare after another.  Owen started puking a couple of hours after that.  He came down with pneumonia shortly thereafter.  And then BK left.  Somehow Foster did not contract any illness.  And somehow I survived for ten days with four children while we waited for BK to come back to get us.  

We drove for two days with our four sons and our dog to our new home. (Owen was horrible.)  And so far, I really like it here.  It's sunny and warm.  Having BK's sister just down the road has been awesome, and the rest of his family is super close too.  We've already made a lot of great memories.  Our house is beautiful.  Landon has adjusted to his new school pretty well. Spencer will start half-day kindergarten in the fall.  Owen is learning to talk.  Foster is learning to sleep.  You really can make "home" anywhere as long as your family is with you.  The routine just looks different.  I still get a bit choked up when I think about the beautiful life we left behind us in Texas.  I loved our house there.  I loved our friends and family there.  But BK and I could not deny the promptings we had to go down a path "less traveled" by (by us, anyway).  And so I'm excited to see where it takes us.  People here have been wonderful to us so far.  Complete strangers showed up with meals.  Other moms have been friendly.  BK works for really great people. I got the calling I had been praying for.  (Relief Society pianist.  YES!!!) 

We are making a good life here, so far.  And that, my friends, is what we have been up to for the past year!

April 10, 2014

For the past three springs I've noticed all the beautiful wildflowers we have around here, and always wanted to pick them and put them in a vase on my mantle.  But I would procrastinate and procrastinate and before I knew it summer was here and the flowers were long gone.

Yesterday I noticed them again and I resolved to make it happen.  We picked Landon up from school and headed home, loaded Owen in the stroller, and off we went.  We found a good field by our neighborhood, and found all of the colors of the rainbow.  The sun was shining and the flowers looked even more vibrant all bunched together in Spencer's Lightning McQueen cup in the stroller tray.

 And then we returned home, whiny and weary from our travels, having procured the arrangement I had dreamt up in my head.  I love how "Texas" it is.

Today's weather did not disappoint either.  A friend and I headed to the zoo and spent two and a half hours letting our littles run around in the sunshine while we explored our deep thoughts and feelings about motherhood and womanhood and the balance between the two.  I walked away feeling uplifted and encouraged, as is the case with every good "girl chat"--right?

So far life is looking better in the spring. Check ya later, winter!!

March 28, 2014

The boys are all out playing in the backyard, and I had a quiet, sunny moment, so I wanted to write down some thoughts about it before the bedtime chaos breaks it all up!

Earlier today there was a thunderstorm.  The whole sky went dark and run started pouring down.  BK was off work early, and so the whole family was in the van--the two babies had fallen asleep on our way to pick up Landon at school, so we were thinking of errands to do to prolong their nap a little longer.  We drove to the bank to deposit a check, and then took the long way home, as we watched the lightning fill the clouds, and felt the thunder rumble our car.

We got home, and BK decided to go into his other, more optional, job to get some extra $$.  (Probably to pay for all the new clothes I keep buying myself.  I'm turning thirty in a couple months!  New decade!  New wardrobe!  Right?!) I put a movie on for the boys, and almost sat down to read a book, but then I thought of all the cleaning I had completely neglected this week.  Literally, I did NOTHING this week.  Weird mix of energy, hormones and emotions all over the place, getting back to normal after a baby starts weaning and your body tries to balance out.  Basically nothing anybody in my house understands because I'm the only girl... But anyway, I was just going to start over fresh on Monday, and then I thought, no, I can do this!  And I proceeded to get 5 loads of laundry done AND put away... and vacuumed and picked up the entire house.  And as I did that, the storm started to dissipate, and I watched the sky start turning lighter and lighter until I could turn off all the light bulbs in the house again because my windows were filled with sunlight again.

And I tell you, there is really nothing prettier than sunlight streaming through my windows onto a clean floor and mess-free house.  Of course that only lasts for like 5 minutes before Spencer starts building forts again, but that's beautiful in its own way, too.  We got pizza for dinner, as we usually do on Fridays, and now the boys are in the backyard playing soccer with BK.  He's holding Owen while he teaches Landon something called a "one-touch" or something.  Spencer is... building a fort out of lawn chairs.  Surprise, surprise.  And I'm just sitting at the desk, in a completely silent house, except for the sound of the dryer going.  (We're waiting for the dryer to be done before we put Owen to bed because it has his bunny and blanky in it.)

I think it's moments like this that I'll remember when, in ten years, I'm turning 40 and think back on what life was like with small kids.  I'm sure I'll remember the chaos, too, but I think ultimately the memories that will hold fast in my mind are my boys outside laughing and playing soccer in the golden sunshine in our first house.

March 1, 2014

 Lunch date with Landon.

 Yogurt and checkers and buying new "afletic" shoes date with Landon.

 Baby bird.

 Owen's first NBA game. Jazz vs. Mavericks.

 My view at the grocery store.

Owen has decided he likes baths.

Those are a few highlights of February! Today was a pretty great day.  I went to Dallas to go to the temple with some girlfriends.  We left all the kids home with husbands and enjoyed a road trip.  We went out to lunch afterward and then headed home.  I went to a baptism at the church afterward.  And then after that we (finally, we've had to reschedule like 3 times because of my kids taking turns being sick) took the kids to Peter Piper Pizza to celebrate yet another perfect report card from Landon!  It definitely wouldn't have been my first choice, but we let him choose, and that's what he chose!  We invited another family to come with us, and so that definitely made hanging out at such a madhouse more bearable.  Spencer hit the "jackpot" on one of the games and ended up with 580 tickets (literally)... so he came home with quite a bag of treasures! (junk) We came home and I put the kids to bed and I let them keep their reading light on for awhile to inspect their prizes.  They stayed up for about an hour enjoying those together.  I'm sure I'll regret my decision to let them stay up until 9 when they're grumpy at church tomorrow, but it was just so cute the way that they were excitedly playing with their prizes together on Landon's bed that I didn't want to break up the party!  All in all, a good day! :)

February 19, 2014

 Spencer likes setting up "fwee sample" booths in our kitchen during the time I'm cooking dinner.  It's...really helpful..

 This chubby angelbaby loooooves solid foods.  No surprise there.

 Spencer went on a field trip to HEB with some friends.  He had more fun than this picture suggests.

 O-bear and I have fun together at his doctor check-ups.  Especially when Dad comes home to watch Spencer so that I don't have to bring him, too...

 Remember Landon?  He's in kindergarten, so he misses out on a lot of photo ops around our house.  So I try to catch him when I can.

I can never get enough of this face. Or babies this age.

Life rolls on! Being a mom of three is definitely different.  Owen has reached that semi-mobile stage where I have to be careful where I put him down and what he's putting in his mouth.  And he is a HEAVY little (big) thing.  So my back is pretty tired from carting him around all day.  We'll figure it out.  His happy little (big) nature has just graced our family so perfectly.  He's brought his own special light and spirit to our home, and I just love it.  He fits in so perfectly with the other two.  He makes me want to have seven more kids. (I won't.)  Talk to me again about that when he's 14 months, but seriously, right now... is there a happier creature in the world than a 7-8 month old smiley baby??  I submit to you, there is not.  I could just eat him. And there would probably be plenty left over.

Spencer is just blossoming (sorry, that's not a very manly word, Spence, but it was the best I could come up with) into such a sweet little boy.  Since Landon is gone at school, Spencer has definitely stepped up to the plate to "take cah-wa" me.  He has mellowed out a LOT and is just a cheerful happy little thing most of the time.  He has such a fantastic imagination and a cute little face.  He's such a huge spirit in such a small little body--I suppose I can relate to that.  Definitely not a wallflower, our little Spence.  He's doing awesome in primary.  I don't want to say I was totally surprised, but I was.  I thought he would hate it.  But I owe much of that to Debbi and Jessi, his teachers.  They really "get" Spencer, and just love him, and that means a lot to me to see how kind and patient they are with him.

Landon continues to be a stellar kindergartener.  We had a couple "incidents" this past weekend with some pantry-sneaking, but after a few good discussions and an FHE lesson, we are hopefully back on the right track. It's so hard with the oldest one because I feel like we're constantly treading in unfamiliar territory.  Every new stage is different.  And BK and I make mistakes sometimes with the way we deal with things, but Landon is just such an awesome kid.  I'm sitting here tearing up just thinking about how great he is, and how much I look up to him.  I see so much of myself in him, but he's balanced out a lot better with a calm streak from BK.  His younger brothers are so lucky to have him.  I know he will be a great example for them in so many things, as he already is now.  He's so patient with Spencer most of the time.  They share a room, and I know Spence drives him nuts sometimes, but he lets Spencer sleep in his bed because Spencer gets scared sleeping in his own bed by himself right now.  And most nights when I go to turn off their nightlight, I find them fast asleep right next to each other.  I'm so glad they have each other.

I feel like life both encourages me and humbles me on a daily basis.  Being a mom is hard, but it's also the best thing I've ever done.  I learn something every single day.  And I laugh hard every single day--sometimes at myself, sometimes with myself.  I tickle my kids and I pinch their buns every single day--all three of them.  Their laughter and smiles are a balm for my anxious little (big) spirit.
Every night before I put Owen to bed, I rock with him in his room and nurse him with just his nightlight on.  After he's done eating, I pick him up to walk him across the room, but usually I just stop and hold him for a minute before I put him down.  He's awake, but so tired, so his body just rests against my chest and his head lays heavy on my shoulder.  I just hug him so tight and make him promise to stop growing so big already, and I kiss the top of his head and just relish in his calmness.  (I'm realizing I need more calm in my life.)
Every morning, whichever of the older boys wakes up first comes and gets in bed with me.  They usually don't say anything, but they cuddle up close to me and stroke my hair.  When I open my eyes, they tell me good morning with such a huge smile on their face--they're so happy to see me--and while maybe it still takes me a few moments to be happy about being woken up before 7, I sit here now, happy that they love me so much.  No matter how rocky the day was before.
Speaking of calm in my life--I'm grateful that I'm married to Mr. Calm himself.  We balance each other out so well.  I feel like he doesn't get mentioned a lot on this here blog, (mostly because I don't want to share details of his work day online for multiple reasons) but he's still around! He works hard and takes a lot of extra hours so we can have extra money to do fun things. He's given me such a beautiful life, and one of these days I'm hoping I'm not a tired, haggard, trainwreck by the time he gets home in the evening, so that he can see I really do enjoy myself most of the time.
Well, I'm going to go soak up the last couple of hours of my day in a good book.  :)

Feburary 3, 2014

Owen has recently taken an interest in his older brothers.  They love making him giggle and smile.  I still have to remind them about 6 gajillion times a day to give him space and not talk so loudly in his ears, but mostly, I'm just glad they like him, and he likes them.  Give him another year and I'm sure he'll be running around and a part of their brother puppy pack for real.  He's lucky to have been born into a family with such awesome brothers already!

It has made my heart grow about three sizes watching Spencer figure out what being a big brother is.  He seems to realize this added responsibility to take care of Owen and look out for him.  He's matured a lot in the past couple of months since he's decided he's head over heels for "Baby Oh-beh." [O-bear.  He hasn't quite mastered "R"s yet... haha!)  Spencer is the most imaginative little three year old ever.  He is constantly building something or pretending something.  He entertains himself so easily.  He is so delightful to be around these days.  He's cheerful for the most part and has lots of interesting things to do and say all day long.  I laugh at least 586 times a day at the things he says and does.  His latest self-given responsibility is bringing a snack in the car for Landon when we go to pick him up from school.  He jumps out of bed after his nap (He still takes a 3 hour nap... bless him.) and immediately starts brainstorming snack ideas.  He gets two granola bars or string cheeses or what have you and heads to the car.  He carefully guards Landon's snack and excitedly hands it to him when he gets in the car.  It's so sweet.

Landon continues to be such a responsible and mature little 5 year old.  He loves going to school.  He's definitely tired and cranky when he gets home, but I can tell he's getting used to it!  All of the sudden he knows how to read, too.  No surprise there, but it's still so cool to see his little brain work and figure out new things.  He's amazing, not only because he is so smart, but because he seems to understand other people's emotions in a very mature way for a small child.  It's hard to explain, but he's just so observant and concerned about "big people" things.  I try to remember to still treat him his real age and let him be a kid, but at the same time, I really appreciate his independence and ability to help around the house.  We are lucky to have him!

BK and I chose our family theme for 2014.  It's the hymn "Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?"  Each month we are going to discuss a different line of the song.  We listen to a cute version of this song almost every day in the car and the kids almost have all of the words down! It's been a good reminder for me to have this written on my chalkboard in the kitchen.  When I find myself getting irritated about an inconvenient service opportunity, I try to remember the words and make my choices based on them.  It's helped a lot.  But of course, because the Lord is so merciful, He always seems to bless us tenfold when we make the smallest of efforts.  In one instance this past month, I knew of a friend who needed a rather large favor--my first reaction was to not volunteer to help, but I looked at my chalkboard and felt guilty--how can I teach my children to serve and love doing it when I'm not? So I changed my mind and responded to her plea.  It ended up being a huge blessing to our family in a couple of unexpected ways. I wasn't really expecting to get anything in return, but like I said, it seems like when you do service, you end up being the one who gets more out of it--more patience, more humility, more perspective.  At the end of the day, it really does come down to what we've been able to do for others--not about our perfectly scheduled day or about getting all of our "wants." This is what I've learned so far with this little project.  I still have much to learn!!

Well, the little chickadees are getting restless... it's that magic hour right before BK gets home... I better go come up with a plan for dinner and take some deep breaths! ;)

December 4, 2013

Today has been sort of a downer.  No real reason in particular--maybe because it was cloudy this morning?  Maybe because I woke up at 3am to find Landon in my bed and took him back to his... then Owen woke up at 5:15am and I fed him and then he was up fussing for several hours?  Yeah, probably a combination of those things.  Spencer has been a cheerful little thing today though and happily played while I laid on the floor reading and resting during Owen's nap this morning.  He is such a creative little thing.  I love it.

I decided that maybe a good pick-me-up would be to list some things that I'm grateful for.

• The weather the past few days has been gorgeous.  High 70s.  And it's December.  We went to the park yesterday and I just loved being out in the sunshine watching the boys run around with their friends.  I'm grateful the older two are at ages that I don't have to worry about them falling off something or climbing too high.  And Owen is young enough he'll just stay in his stroller.  So I can actually chat with my friends and enjoy the park too!
• I'm thankful for personal revelation.  I was wondering about how to solve a problem and received an explanation that really made sense to me.  It was about forgiveness.  I wondered about choices other people make and how they ever truly get fixed to the point you can forgive.  And in my mind popped an analogy about how the Savior is like a physician.  Physicians fix problems that they didn't create all of the time.  We can injure each other physically and not have the capabilities to heal the wound, because we lack the training and knowledge.  We can injure each other emotionally and not really have capabilities to heal those wounds past just being sorry.  So when we're injured, we need to turn to the Master Physician and let him fix it.  Because He's the only one who can.  Anyway, I thought it was a neat thought, so I wanted to share.
• I'm thankful for my living arrangement.  I take it for granted all of the time.  But I really shouldn't have many complaints in life.  I have a beautiful home and food on the table and nice people to share it with.  It doesn't really get much better than that.
• I'm thankful for Christmas traditions. Our boys are getting old enough that we are creating some of our own, and it's really fun to think about how they might evolve over time.  I ordered a bunch of Christmas books the other day and wrapped them last night.  We are going to do the 12 days of Christmas Books this year, starting next week, and I'm excited to sit on the couch each night with my babies, freshly bathed, reading by the light of the Christmas tree.  I'm sure it won't be that idyllic every night, but if that moment happens just once, it will be worth it!

Well, I've decided I'm about three years overdue for a blog book, so I'm off to start designing them!  Happy Wednesday to us all! :)