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| Landon-May 2008 |
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| Spencer--April 2010 |
But tonight neither of my boys wanted to fall asleep. I kept marching Landon back to his room, each time waking up grumpy, teething Spencer. Landon kept asking me to read a book or sing songs with him. But I had already done both of those things, and didn't a deserve to watch an episode or 6 of 30 Rock?
The fifth time he came out of his room, he asked me to come in and sing to him. And for some reason I finally caught some perspective. As I laid in his tiny bed with him and sang him Primary songs, both of my boys magically settled down.
Sometimes as a mom I get a little annoyed that I'm the only one on the planet who has this power over Landon and Spencer. But tonight I was really touched by it.
A tear or 6 ran down my face as I let my mind wander to a time in the not-to-far-future where my boys won't want me to sing to them anymore. And then I let my mind wander to a time a little bit farther than that where they might be struggling with their testimony.
And suddenly I wanted their tiny brains filled with memories of me singing songs of Jesus to them and remembering how it brought them comfort.
My mother and father gave us a TV from their bedroom when they bought a new one. Landon keenly observed the other day while smelling the vent on the back of the TV (?) that he "smelled Nana." I smelled the vent, and he was exactly right. It smelled like my mom's hairspray and perfumes. And for some reason, it brought a warm comfort over me--even though I had just seen my mom a few days before.
I want my children to know my voice. And I want them to know my smell. I want them to feel warm fuzzies when they remember me--even twenty years from now.
And if that means sacrificing a bit of my "precious" TV time every now and again when they're having trouble settling down--so be it.
I love them.
