Neither of us cried, though I did feel my heart break as I turned around and left him on the first day. I thought about my feelings later, and I realized that I'm sad because I am not the person who spends most of his waking hours with him anymore. And that's how it will be the rest of his life. But I'm also so happy for him and that he gets to have new adventures with new people. I'm just sad that 5 years went by faster than I could've possibly imagined. But I'm happy to say that I really don't have any real regrets over the past five years. I've gotten to stay home with him and do all the things with him that I've wanted to. Sure, in hindsight, I've made mistakes. But along the way, I've reevaluated and made changes to my parenting whenever I noticed something wasn't working. That's really all you can expect parents to do. Mostly, I'm just really proud of him. He's such a well-rounded, well-behaved little guy, and for the most part it has been a breeze to get him ready to go out into the "real world." He's made friends extremely easily this first week, and his teacher and PE teacher both found me separately to tell me how sweet he is and how much they love teaching him already. As a former kindergarten teacher, I know that easy kids like Landon are much appreciated. I do miss having my biggest helper around the house, but Spencer has actually risen to the occasion so far, and it's been a good change in pace for everyone to have a new routine to settle into.
Spencer will be doing a little co-op preschool with a couple of friends starting in a week or so. He's very excited that he got to buy a backpack. I'm excited for him to get a little more practice with making friends and following directions. As much of a handful as that kid is, he is one of the most charming creatures, and I enjoy seeing his smiling face every day. He's been soaking up all this extra "momma time" since Landon's been gone, and Owen still sleeps most of the day. He is a cuddly little thing, and while that means that somedays I don't get everything done on my list, I'm completely fine with that. They get too big, too fast.
Owen continues to be a dream-baby. He is so mellow and just so good. He sleeps through the night and is pleasant to be around almost all of the time. He's so chubby and cheerful, and it's just a joy to have him in our family. He's started smiling at me when I get him out of his crib in the morning, and that's just about the best thing ever.
Life is good. :)
